I SURVIVED!

I SURVIVED MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE!

Wow, was today an amazing day! I started my day with my mission prep class. I have a great teacher and a great class! I was surprised by how many students didn't really have mission plans but were still taking the class, IT'S GREAT! This class is so much fun, after today, I am even more excited to serve a mission. 

I than had a great work out getting to my next class. I have institute on one side of campus than my math class on the other side of campus. A 15 minute walk I have to make in 5..... boy.... I better look good after this semester ;) I'll be honest I was late to my math class but my professor is awesome!  She is so understanding and so funny. I know I will have fun in her class. 

BREAK TIME! My 2nd class ends at 10:50 and I don't have a class until 1:00 so I have about 2 hours of free time. I am so glad I have that free time because I can use that time to study and work on my online class. I can also eat and just rest. IT'S GREAT! 

Than, English. My professor looks like Sybill Trelawney (for all you harry potter fans out there).

I KID YOU NOT! She even kinda acts like her too. It's awesome. English is the one class I actually need a text book in. That's great! Less money to spend on text books.  

So, I love college. I couldn't have survived today if it weren't for my Heavenly Father, My Family and My Friends. I woke up this morning to a cute little note from my brother Sam. My mom told me he was worried about me, that he was crying because he was going to miss me while I am in my mission.  SO CUTE!  It made me cry. Again I'll be honest with you I was so scared about starting college last night.To the point I couldn't sleep well, I was shaking, crying and everything else. I was a mess! But after all my moms encouragement, My dad's blessing, Sam's note, a Young Womens' leader posting on my FB wall, and finally the faith I had in my Father in Heaven, I SURVIVED!

My Next Chapter

Here it goes. I start my first semester of college TOMORROW! So many emotions are running through me. I am scared, excited, nervous, anxious, stressed, crazy, calm, blessed, peaceful, EVERY EMOTION you can think of I have going on! I can't even express what I am feeling because there are so many things to express. But the underling emotion I am feeling is stress. I have so much going on, so much change, I don't even know where to start. I am scared. I don't know how I can deal with all of these change, but I have too. 

     Today though, was a much needed day of reminders. I had the opportunity to go to a close friends Mission Farewell. He talked about the power of the atonement. How Christ not only suffered for our sins but also for the hard times we would go through. How the atonement changed him and how it can change all of us. We shouldn't just think about the atonement one day a week, we should think about His great sacrifice everyday. Christ knows each of us personally, He bled and died for ME. for YOU. He has felt every feeling I have felt and understands me COMPLETELY.  I am so grateful for my friend Elder Johnson, and his great reminder of the atonement. 

 I also had a great lesson in Relief Society, based on the talk Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease by Elder David A. Bednar. It talks about the burdens we carry, and the load we have to bear. there's a qoute saying 

" Each of us also carries a load. Our individual load is comprised of demands and opportunities, obligations and privileges, afflictions and blessings, and options and constraints."

 I was thinking a lot about my load to carry, My demands, opportunities, obligations, privileges, afflictions, blessings, options, and constraints. We mad a list of each of those. Than we were asked the questions " Is the load I am carrying producing the spiritual traction that will enable me to press forward with faith in Christ on the strait and narrow path and avoid getting stuck?, is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home to Heavenly Father?"

 I reviewed everything on my list and realized that not everything is helping me obtain my Spiritual goals. I am not doing everything I can to get closer to my Father in Heaven. I spend to much time on my phone, FaceBook, Instagram, Pinterest. ETC. I need more time growing closer to my Father in heaven. After reviewing my list more I realized all the things that I am stressing about are things that I can lay at the lords feet. He can help me with my load. My favorite quote from this talk is 

" There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first. In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying only upon our own power. Indeed, His yoke is easy and His burden is light."

He understands me, my yoke is made easy by him. I am so grateful for all those people who have made my burden light. who have loved me for everything. I am mostly grateful for my Savior and His sacrifice for ME. His love for Me. and for helping me carry my yoke. I am ready to start this new chapter, with Christ on my side.  I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

"Life isn't Measured in how many breaths we take, but Measured in moments that take our breath away...." :)

     Through out my life I have found my self counting the seconds, minutes, and hours to something. Whether it be to go somewhere, to leave something, to finish something, or to start something. 

I forget about the now. 

     Only in the NOW are we able to experience the moments that take our breath away. 

I can't help but think about a few experiences that have taken my breath away and I hope it's okay that I share a few. 

The one that came to mind is my Senior Trip to Bear Lake. I had so much fun! I was with my best friend Alissa, My love Chance and our friend Josh. With my grandma as a chaperone. :) I think it's safe to say for all of us we had a blast! 

We had a cave tour, 

Went to the lake

Went to a Play House,

Rode a four person Bike,

 

Went on a walk on a Board Walk,

 Shopped,

  and just relaxed...

 Every moment spent with them were adventures, a moment that took my breath away I gained such great memories that week I will never forget. 

     Look at the moments in your life and remember what took your breath away. Don't count down the minutes to when you can leave or stop doing something. Look at the Now. Cherish each moment you have, You aren't going to have that moments again.

I choose to be happy :)

I recently was asked a question that seemed kinda silly to me but made me think.

"Why and how are you so happy and positive?"

My whole I have been told that I am a very optimistic person. I am glad people think that about me. I hope I can be an optimistic person. I have found that life can be hard, but it is so much easier when you choose to be happy.

 Being happy is so much easier than being down. But it's a choice. 

 I made that choice. Being happy is so important to great life. There have been many times in my life where it was so hard to be happy, I felt that if I tried to be happy it would work out for a little but than somethings else would get thrown in my face and make it that much harder to be happy.

    High School was a big culprit. There were so many opportunities to be down. So much " High School" drama.  But that High School drama was my life. I felt that every little thing was a HUGE thing. In reality, I look back and I laugh at some of the things I made into a big deal when they were just little things.  But I soon realized that if I just decided to be happy during those times, They would be so much easier to deal with. I would get over them so much faster. 

     Now, Being a " new bee at Adult Hood" ( I know silly but that's what I call myself, A new Bee) I find it is a lot harder to be happy, or at least choose to be happy. There is so much I have to worry about, so much to stress about. School, Work, My relationships. I have to make sure I can pay for school. I have to make sure I can pay for this car, pay for the things I need, Bills I help pay. It's hard and crazy, Sometimes I just want to curl up and disappear. But I CAN'T those things will always be there. But, Guess what? I am HAPPY. Ya, HAPPY, H-A-P-P-Y. Because I choose to be happy. 

    I look at my life and realize like I said in my last post, I AM SOOO BLESSED! I have the huge blessing of going to College, Having a car, Having a house, Having a family, Having a man that loves me. Having a faith that I know is true. Because of these blessings I find in my life, I choose to be happy. Not many people can say they can go to school, or have the things I have.  

     I truly believe that you can't be happy with out opposition. I wouldn't have been able to see what makes me happy if I didn't have trials or opposition in my life. You wont know what true happiness is until it's tested. 

     If you look at your life and aren't happy with it, Look back and study your life. Find those moments that made you happy, I mean TRULY, PURELY HAPPY.  Look for those blessings you have now. My challenge to you, Make a list of 5 things you are happy about every morning. I promise you, You'll be happy. :) 

Blessed, Blessed, and More Blessed :)

     I just feel this over whelming need to go on a rant about how blessed I am. So far August has been so great to me! I don't even know where to start! 
First of all I have gotten started for school, I got my classes I needed and wanted and I have Pell grants and Scholarships for school, so I am paying no money out of pocket for school which is great! 
     I am so blessed to be in the middle of two great schools. I am going to a great school where I can get a degree in Elementary Education and work towards my dream of being a teacher. I can't even believe that I am one step closer to my dream occupation. It's still so out of this world to me.

      Second, I have an amazing job. I started working in January and have been working for about 7 months and its great. I have an income. Not a big one but it is one. I have money that I can buy things with for myself and not have my parents worry about it. I don't have to feel like I am being a burden to them. I am more and more and Adult. It's scary but so much fun. I feel great! 
     Third I just got a second job! a much needed second job! I have been looking for a second job for a while and nothing has worked out but than all of the sudden I got this one AND GUESS WHAT! It's doing what I LOVE! Tutoring Elementary School Students! HOW COOL IS THAT!!! It will help me get even closer to my dream! 
     Fourth, I am happy. I am truly happy! I have pure joy and just always uplifted! I know that's my Heavenly Father. I have felt his love so much with each blessing I receive. IT'S AMAZING! I know God loves me. He blesses me so much more than I could ever ask for. The windows of heaven have really been pouring down on me lately. 
     Fifth, I have a great Boyfriend. He is so amazing! He has such a strong testimony and love for his Savior. He loves his Savior first than his family and than me. I LOVE IT! He is such a huge example to me. I am so proud of him deciding to serve a mission. He is going to Frankfurt Germany and those people of Germany are so luck to have him. Yes, It's going to be hard to not see him for two years. But I know our future will be blessed. Plus, With me going on a mission too, two years will go by so fast. I can't wait for our future together. We both have been blessed with getting new jobs and being happy. I can't help but feel excited for both of us. I know it's cheesy to say but I can't wait to celebrate with him over the little things, like new jobs, buying things and just funny little things. I am so blessed to have him and his love.

My call to serve

October 6th, 2012. This is the day my life changed forever.
     " Pres. Thomas S. Monson just announced that Young Men can serve missions at 18, and Young Women at 19." This was a text I had gotten from my dad while I was in Ceder City for a Shakespeare Competition.

I couldn't believe it, I thought my dad was pulling a joke on me. But then Everyone else started talking about it and I knew it was no joke.

  I have been going to the Shakespeare Competition since 9th grade and I feel in love with SUU. I had planned on attending SUU for college. I was so excited to go again and be on the campus of MY school. The school I was going to graduate from with a degree in teaching.  We got on the bus and drove the three hours to Ceder City and I kept talking about how excited I was to someday go to that school. I am sure everyone was sick of hearing about it.
We drove up to SUU and got off the bus to take a tour of the school and rehearse for the competition the following day. As I got off the bus, There wasn't that feeling of excitement or peace I had hoped for. I was confused. I had planned on going to this school. I was going to have a recruiter come and watch one of my performances so I could get a scholarship. I had everything planned. Why was I NOT EXCITED? Something was wrong, and I couldn't figure it out.

Everything wasn't working out. The recruiter wasn't answering my calls or text. I couldn't understand. The longer I was on campus the more I didn't feel like that was my school. I wanted so badly to feel this excitement and joy of going to my dream school. I was disappointed. I prayed to feel what I wanted. I just couldn't figure it out.

The next day I was competing all day. I had three rounds and each were about an hour and half long. This distracted me from my disappointment and confusion. I still was having fun and I still had planned on going to SUU. That was what I wanted. It was a good thing too, why wouldn't God be happy with that? It's not like I was doing something bad. I was going to college. I was being productive. I wanted to go to this school and I was determined to get the way  I thought was best for me.
 I remember the exact room I was in. I remember watching one of my class mates perform for her last round.
BUZZ, BUZZ
I looked down at my phone, a text from my dad. What could he want?

"Pres. Thomas S. Monson Just announced that Young Men can serve missions at the age of 18, and Young Women at 19."

My heart started racing. 
" This is a joke! wow good one dad. way to joke about something so serious." 
" Did you hear! The missionary age changed!"
 WHAT!? This was true, My dad wasn't just pulling a joke on me?! I was filled with excitement. That is crazy. wow. I was over joyed.  I didn't realize that was my answer until I got home.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning and I was sitting with my journal ready to take notes for the Sunday morning General Conference.  Then, The choir and congregation sang Called to Serve. That's when I knew. It started in my heart, this warm gently loving feeling. It over flowed into my arms and legs, my stomach, my head. Tears came streaming to my eyes. I knew the lord wanted me to serve a mission.  I knew with every fiber of my being and with every part of my soul. I couldn't deny it. I was called to serve a mission.

 The years past and that feeling subsided in me. I started to question, Is this really what God wants me to do? Doubt filled my mind. I pushed back the thought of going on a mission.  It became, I might go on a mission. I might.
 My life was back to what I wanted. My plan was to go to school, Study Special Education. Get married. Start a family. Mission was just a sub note, not really a set plan like the rest. I turned 18 and I realized I could be going on a mission by my next birthday. I had to make that decision this year. I could start my papers in December and than leave the next may, right after I turned 19. This was becoming a reality. I had to decide fast.

I don't remember the day or where I was but I just know I felt peace about going on a mission. That feeling I had that Sunday morning came back. I'm reassured that God wants me to go on a mission.  Even now as I write this, That feeling comes back and it brings tears to my eyes. I know even more now that I will serve a mission.  Yeah, IT'S SCARY. I don't feel prepared. There is always someone who could do a better job. But than again, No one can do it the way I can. And that's the way God wants it done. My way. He wants ME. I am good enough to serve a mission.  I am SO not perfect. But God wants ME, My imperfect self, Gabby, To serve him. To spread His love and light with those who need it most. I know it will be hard. But I want to share the love I have for this gospel. I am a Daughter of God and I want other Daughters and Sons to know for them selves they are Children of  Heavenly Father Who loves them and wants to them to return to Him. I can't wait to bring that joy to those people. 

So what is my plan now you may ask? I start School on the 25th of August, Studying Elementary Education, Start my mission papers in December. Leave sometime in the summer. Serve The lord for 18 months, watch the lives of those I teach change for the Best. Than come home, return to school and finish my degree for Elementary Education.  
Marriage and Starting a family are on my list, It's just when the lord wants them to happen, they will happen. 

 If I have learned anything through this experience it's this, The Lord has a plan. And it's a perfect plan. He knows what I need. He knows what needs to be done to help grow my faith in him. My testimony about relying in the lord is SO MUCH STRONGER. I know that his way is the only way to true happiness,  true peace, and Eternal Life. I can't wait to see what my life has in store for me. I can't wait for my faith to be tested again, because I know it will only grow stronger.  God loves me and I love him. I can become perfect through him. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ AMEN!