I've learned a valuable lesson this past week. In fact I have learned this lesson a lot through out my life. But I keep learning it. God's way is always better, He has a better plan for you, than you have for yourself. Wow have I learned this lesson so many times. But why? Why do I always have to be constantly reminded? Because I'm Human, I'm Imperfect, I'm learning. And you know what that's okay!
I (re) learned that lesson this past month with going through my mission papers and preparing to leave. I had it all figured out!
MY plan:
Get mission papers done by Thanksgiving CHECK!
first interview with my bishop done CHECK!
Interview with my bishop the second time
Interview with my Stake President
Submit papers
Get my call
Well I got the first two done when I wanted them done but the last steps is where I started my learning process over again. After I had finished my mission papers I just needed to get my mission physical done. I felt healthy and I was excited and ready to get it over with. As my doctor was listening to my heart he heard a heart murmur. I wasn't too worried about it and neither was he, but he said I should get a echo-cardiogram done just for good measure. I did. I went in the next Monday. They told me I would have the results back in on Friday and I would be good to go. MY plan kicked back into action again. I was going to get my result back on Friday, Turn them in to my bishop Sunday, Get my interview with my stake president on Tuesday. He would submit them and I would have my call. NOPE, I didn't get my results back till the next Monday a week later!! But It wasn't the news I was hoping for. My doctor had found that I have sclerosis.(Which is I basically have a valve that only has 2 flaps insted of 3, and it's super thick making it less flexible) He wanted to talk to the Cardiologist and see what needed to be done. I was devastated! not only do I have a heart issue, but it was going to take even longer to submit my papers.
Luckliy I got a letter from my doctor explaining my health and that after talking with the Cardiologist they see no reason for me not to go on a mission or have any restrictions placed. I was so happy, but still kinda shaken up. I am going on a mission, but now I have this health issue. I never thought that I would have any health issues. I always felt I was heathy. I tried to be healthy at least.
After this shakening experince I didn't really want to talk about it. I just shut out everything. I didn't want to even talk to my parents about it (It's hard to talk about it now but I am doing it) . Now it may seem super selfish of me to freak out about this little problem when there are so many bigger health issues out there in the world. But this is a big deal for me. I turn to my Heavenly Father for Guidence and Comfort. I need comfort more then anything. I prayed my heart out! I have only prayed this hard about 3 times before. But this time I prayed the hardest I have ever prayed. I wanted to know why, Why was this thing happenning? Why would God put this trial in my path? I wanted so badly to get an aswer.
I woke up the next morning, prayed even harder, read my patriachal blessing, studied my scriptures and PRAYED again. On my way to school the thought popped into my head of a book I recently read. 5 scriptures that will get you through almost anything by John Bytheway. Im going to paraphrase what he said but basicly he was talking about how God tried Abraham with Sacrificing his son Issac and why. God knew Abraham was going to do it. But why? Maybe God wanted Abraham to prove to Himself that his faith in God was strong and pure. That hit me. God knows how badly I want to go on a mission, But He wants me to know how badly I want to go on a mission. I was so comforted. I know even more now that I do want to go on a mission. I am so excited. God does have a plan for us, He knows what is best. I learned that again. I learned not only does God try us to prove our faith in him, But to help us grow stronger and testify to ourselves that we are doing okay and we can keep going.
